Storybook Saturdays - The Windup Girl (2010) by Paolo Bacigalupi

We are nature. Our every tinkering is nature, our every biological striving. We are what we are, and the world is ours. We are its gods. Your only difficulty is your unwillingness to unleash your full potential upon it.

Ok so this should have been my week off, but I need to catch up after a weekend away – and I still have more planned so maybe not a week off after all… Never mind. I’m back (albeit  3 days late) with some more apocalyptic future visions in the shape of Paolo Bacigalupi’s The Windup Girl. I read this book as part of my English dissertation on power principles and what it means to be human back in 2017/2018; re-reading it, my perspective is still much the same, although I have definitely picked up on a few new things I missed before.

To summarise, The Windup Girl is a dystopian sci-fi set in a futuristic yet impoverished Bangkok. Here, produce is genetically modified to combat new kinds of diseases, energy (or calories) is highly valued and rarely wasted, and gene-spliced ‘Cheshire’ cats have supplanted their normal feline cousins, roaming the streets as detested as rats and the ‘yellow card’ Chinese immigrants who live alongside them. Politics is a very big theme in this book, a topic I can never manage to get my head around, so you can imagine how difficult it was at times to fully understand the situations unfolding before me. But no matter how oppressive society is, over it all hangs a persistent heat ‘so intense that it seems no one can breathe’, a heat which is almost literally felt throughout the entire book (much like the metaphorical 'burning' in my last book review). For one character in particular, this heat is a serious problem. The titular ‘Windup Girl’ Emiko is genetically engineered to perfection as a Japanese ‘toy’ or companion, which includes a reduction in pores to make her skin flawlessly smooth with the side effect of overheating. Her skin becomes ‘scalding’ like a ‘furnace’, so hot that, when dropped into water, it is expected for ‘the sea of boil around her’ and her brain to be ‘cooked’. Such visceral imagery also appears to be something Bacigalupi is unafraid of.

From sex to gore, this book deals lightly yet unashamedly in shocking topics from Emiko’s unfortunate abasement as a sex toy, delivered through implicit yet affecting detail of her many violations, to the brutal deaths of factory workers ‘heads carved open like soft mangoes’ and the overwhelming, almost frightening, final battle scenes scattered with bodies. And this is somehow almost matched by the sudden twists which Bacigalupi manages to sneak in, allowing characters to be surprised, the mood to shift, and action to erupt out of nowhere.

One thing I also noted in this story is its similarities to David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas. The structure of the story is the biggest parallel, each chapter viewing events from a different perspective – Hock Seng the sly ‘yellow card’ factory worker, Anderson Lake the calorie rep with a taste for novelty, Jaidee & Kanya the yin and yang ‘white shirt’ officers, and of course, Emiko the windup with a deadly secret. And links are made between the chapters when different characters interact or hear about each other, much like how Mitchell strung a thread between each section of his story to tie them all together. Emiko’s life, in particular, echoes that of Mitchell’s character Sonmi-451 who is also genetically manufactured, and lives in an Asian diner where she must always be subservient to her patrons.

This power dynamic was something I analysed in my dissertation, this uncertainty about where the true power lies: with those in obvious seats of influence or the underdogs – the immigrants, Cheshires and windups – who are essential, prolific and/or better engineered? Ultimately, this balance can only be broken by oppression, through poverty, objectification and violence, to keep the threat at bay, much like the wall which holds back the sea threatening the city in the wake of so much environmental damage. Which brings me to another recurring theme: the past. Characters like Hock Seng and Kanya recall their past, either when life was better or when it was worse, while for Anderson, imagining a time when fruit and vegetables were disease-free and wildly varied is beyond his comprehension. And for Emiko that past is one of security and love, one she often wishes for again.

I could go on analysing and extolling this book’s virtues, but I think it’s better if you read it for yourself. The application of various Thai and Chinese words in place of their English equivalent can be a little tiresome and superfluous at times but it definitely adds character, and while you may find the politics a little dry or convoluted, you should be able to get enough of a grasp of its principles to scrape comfortably by. You will find this to be a thrilling and open read about our potential future, laced with as much political tension and religious iconography as our present day, and enough action to keep the pages turning.

Feathered Fridays - Lapwing

Andreas Trepte, CC BY-SA 2.5 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5>, via Wikimedia Commons

Vanellus vanellus

Most European birds have their own distinctive calls and songs, from the low booming of the Bittern to the rolling musical notes of the Snow Bunting, but few can be said to be as bizarre as the vibrantly alien ululation of the Lapwing or peewit. As these birds gather in flocks in fields, you could almost be mistaken for thinking you’d stumbled upon a treasure hunters’ convention with their metal detector-like display calls. And that is not the only distinctive thing about this medium-sized farmland bird. Part of the Plover family Charadriidae, while most sport earthy or monotone plumage, the Lapwing wears a metallic green and purple iridescence to its back, the rest of its feathers being black and white, ending with an iconic wispy black crest on its head  and noticeably rounded wingtips.

In addition to farmland fields, the Lapwing frequents meadows, mudflats, and wetlands throughout the UK, wintering only in the West Country and south Ireland, and breeding in upland fields and river pastures between April and June (several migrate south to breeding grounds on the continent). They are often seen mixed in with Golden Plovers and Black-headed Gulls. Their young, raised in a shallow grass-lined hollow from a single brood of 3-4 chicks, quickly assume their adult plumage, albeit with a smaller head crest and buff edges to those vibrant feathers. Their diet consists largely of insects, from both above and below ground; those taken from just below the surface as often tempted out with foot tapping.                                       

The name Lapwing is believed to derive from the Old English for ‘leap with a flicker in it’, referring to the way their black and wings flicker in a winter flock. The Latin Vannellus vannellus means ‘little fan’, also in reference to their flapping flight. However they are, sadly, in decline due to changing farming systems and now appear on the Red conservation status list for the UK. But that’s not to say we shouldn’t celebrate this unique bird for having the tenacity to hang in there and still clock up 140,000 breeding pairs in the UK annually.

Facts taken from: the RSPB, Wildlife Trusts, the Norfolk Wildlife Trust, and the RSPB’s ‘Birds of Britain and Europe’ Guidebook by Rob Hume.

https://www.norfolkwildlifetrust.org.uk/wildlife-in-norfolk/species-explorer/birds/lapwing

https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/wildlife-explorer/birds/wading-birds/lapwing

https://www.rspb.org.uk/birds-and-wildlife/wildlife-guides/bird-a-z/lapwing/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0241302242/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Wellness Wednesdays - Sleep - and - Hydration

Welcome to Wednesday’s Wellness Clinic. I can promise you I am not a doctor, a psychotherapist or a preacher, just someone with a lot going on inside her head looking for a way to calm the storm and impart that wisdom to you.

As last week was National Sleep Awareness Week, and Monday was World Water Day, I am doing a [brief] two-for-one on wellness tips today, starting with sleep, that age-old remedy. Now there are many tricks to getting a good night’s sleep which we have all heard so let’s look at them:

- How long? 6-8 hours is recommended, so depending on when you plan on getting up, you can work out a sleep schedule. You should aim for the same times every day – for me, it’s 11pm-6am (although on my blogging weeks this can slip to 12-6am) – as this gets your internal clock and brain into a routine. Unfortunately, for those of us who have erratic sleep patterns or frequent late nights, there is no such thing as ‘catching up on lost sleep’ with those weekend lie-ins; you will only confuse your body clock even more.

- Perfect sleep conditions? Ideally, wherever you sleep should be between 18-24°C (not so easy in summer when my room has reached 30°C!); it should be comfortable (your mattress could be to blame if you’re having trouble sleeping); you should only associate your bed with sleep and sex (I’m probably not doing myself any favours by working in bed so maybe there is something I could work on); it should be dark (invest in some thick curtains if there are any bright lights outside your window) and quiet. This latter point, however, is quite subjective as, while I’ve grown up in a quiet street and so am used to sleeping in silence, I’ve met a few people who prefer to sleep with music playing or who are accustomed to the sound of traffic outside. If you’re like me, and you find yourself having to sleep in a semi-noisy environment, you should invest in a set of earplugs.

- What to avoid? You’ve probably been told not to stare at screens (laptop, phone, TV) in the hour before you go to sleep. This is because it keeps your brain alert, and the light these devices emits can even suppress the natural production of melatonin, the sleep hormone. Avoiding screens is perhaps a bit of a tall order for me as I write my blog entries at night, but I haven’t had any problems sleeping as a result. You should also avoid consuming large meals, alcohol or caffeine in the 3 or so hours before you sleep. On weekdays, this isn’t difficult as I’ve become accustomed to eating less after work, but on weekends, I aim to stop eating by about 7pm (this can differ for you depending on when you need to sleep). I’m also avoiding caffeine and alcohol in general at the moment, so I look to be on track for a decent night’s sleep.

- What if you can’t sleep? You’re too hot, you’re not tired, your mind is too busy, or you’ve just woken in the middle of the night. There are many reasons why you might be finding it hard to fall asleep, but there are several techniques to fix this. Sleep meditation, removing pjs or excess bedding, occupying yourself outside of bed for a few minutes, these are just a few things that might work for you.

Now what about hydration? Your body is between two thirds and one half water, it aids many of the important processes that go on inside you (including concentration and the regulation of stress hormones) and it helps keep your skin looking good, so it’s no wonder remembering to drink water is so crucial. Depending on factors like your age, physical activity, climate, environment, and your personal health, you need to drink between 2 to 2.5litres of water daily.  But where do you get all that water? Here are few suggestions:

- Water: just pure and simple H2O. You can throw in some slices of cucumber or lemon to jazz it up and add some flavour, or you could have sparkling water (not my personal favourite as I find it tastes like disappointing lemonade but it appeals to some)

- Juices and smoothies: great if they contain water-rich fruit/veg like grapes, celery, watermelon, oranges, or cucumber, but don’t forget the sugar and acid that come with them. It is often better to eat these fruit/veg raw to get the best results.

- Milk: Yes, milk of every kind contains water, so provided you stick to low fat dairy milks or unsweetened plant-based milks, you can hydrate with your morning bowl of cereal.

- Tea/coffee: while these usually contain caffeine, a mild diuretic (makes you pee more), if you limit your intake or opt for decaf alternatives (herbal teas like peppermint and ginger are a great choice), you can be hydrating in style!

Unfortunately, alcohol is NOT a valid means of hydration as it can, in fact, have the opposite effect and end up dehydrating you. Signs of dehydration include thirst, dizziness, and infrequent dark pee, and often, while you may quench your thirst after one drink, your body will still require more to rehydrate itself. So, make it a habit to drink water throughout the day: 

- Drink first thing in the morning (I try to remember to fill a glass and finish half of it before I eat breakfast)

- Carry a water bottle (especially useful if you’re clumsy like me and tend to spill water on your desk!)

- Drink regularly (as I mentioned, I have a half hour alarm for work and that includes a hydration break)

- Eat foods with a high water content (see section on juices and smoothies)

- Don’t mistake your thirst for hunger – drink first and see if that stomach rumble goes away.

If you follow both sets of guidance, hopefully you will find yourself waking and going through the day feeling refreshed, both mentally and physically.

SOURCES: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sleep-and-tiredness/how-to-get-to-sleep/

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene/healthy-sleep-tips

https://www.sentara.com/healthwellness/data/blogs/7-tips-for-staying-hydrated.aspx

https://www.bupa.co.uk/health-information/nutrition-diet/keeping-hydrated

Tasty Tuesdays - Chicken & Chorizo Paella (Save with Jamie)

How has it been almost 3 full months and I haven’t shared a single Jamie Oliver recipe with you yet? Well, for this fortnight, I’m finally changing that with a gorgeous recipe I’ve been wanting to try for a while: paella. Specifically chicken and chorizo, taken from his 'Save with Jamie' cookbook, although, as with most of Jamie’s recipes, there is plenty of room for creative licence – which is probably why I love cooking with him so much.

You’ll want to start by prepping your ingredients – they do it on TV before the cameras start rolling so it makes sense for you to do the same, and it means everything is just as you need it when you need it. (You can see from my photo that I love using a multitude of mismatched bowls for each ingredient!) Once everything is chopped and weighed, you can begin cooking. First to go in is the garlic (I use about ¼ - ½ tsp of garlic puree as fresh garlic isn’t very common in my kitchen), the roughly chopped carrot, onion, parsley stalks, chorizo and chicken thighs, and some paprika (as I can’t seem to find paprika which is both sweet and smoked, I use a ½ tsp of each). Then the chopped pepper (Jamie suggests red, but yellow or orange will work just fine), followed by tomato puree and a stock cube. At this point in the proceedings, I chose to add my own twist by also throwing in a few chopped sun-dried tomatoes and a whole chopped fresh tomato. Alternatively, you could use sun-dried peppers or marinaded artichoke (both of which are equally Mediterranean and usually easy to find in your local supermarket) or, as Jamie suggests, some shellfish (mussels, clams) or fresh fish – something I will definitely have to try next time!

Up next is the rice. Paella rice is a shorter grain with a high absorption rate which means, even though the packet suggested a cooking time of 34 minutes, the 15 Jamie suggests really is all you need. So don’t do what I did and add in red or brown rice because it won’t cook properly unless you parboil it for 15 minutes beforehand. (I would, however, like to point out that this addition, without the parboiling, was not a failure, but it did leave a few overly al dente grains). You also need to remember to stir the paella regularly during this to prevent it sticking or burning. Finally come the prawns and peas, a little more cooking, and you’re ready to serve. A sprinkle of chopped parsley, a squeeze of lemon, and, as I rather creatively chose to add, a grating of Red Leicester cheese – the nuttiness works well with the rice – and you can dig into one of the best paellas you will ever make.

CHICKEN & CHORIZO PAELLA

• 
  2 cloves of garlic
• 1 onion
• 1 carrot
• ½ a bunch of fresh flat-leaf parsley (15g)
• 70g chorizo
• 2 skinless, boneless chicken thighs
• Olive oil
• 1 teaspoon sweet smoked paprika
• 1 red pepper
• 1 tablespoon tomato puree
• 1 chicken stock cube
• 300g paella rice
• 100g frozen peas
• 200g frozen peeled cooked prawns
• 1 lemon

 

Peel and finely slice the garlic, peel and roughly chop the onion and carrot. Finely chop the parsley stalks, then roughly chop the chorizo and chicken thighs. Put a lug of oil into a large lidded shallow casserole or paella pan on a medium heat, add the garlic, onion, carrot, parsley stalks, chorizo, chicken and paprika, and fry for around 5 minutes, stirring regularly. Deseed and chop the pepper, then add to the pan for a further 5 minutes.

Stir through the tomato puree and crumble in the stock cube, then add the rice and stir for a couple of minutes so it starts to suck up all that lovely flavour. Pour in 750ml of boiling water and add a pinch of salt and pepper. Pop the lid on and bring to the boil, then reduce to a simmer for 15minutes, stirring regularly from the outside in and from the inside out, and adding a splash of water if needed. Stir in the peas and prawns, replace the lid, and cook for a further 5 minutes, or until hot through. Season to perfection, then chop the parsley leaves, scatter them over the paella, and serve with lemon wedges on the side for squeezing over.

Musical Mondays - Adore (1998) by The Smashing Pumpkins

Welcome back to the last Musical Monday of March (is it seriously almost the end of March already?) and here to see out the month in style, I present to you the gorgeously melancholic Adore (1998) by The Smashing Pumpkins. This is a divisive album, a far cry from the characteristic bombast and colour of their previous masterpiece, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (1995) – which I still need to hear in its entirety. So much so that, when set next to the driving beat of songs like ‘The Everlasting Gaze’ from their 2000 follow-up Machina/The Machines of God, it almost seems hard to believe they’re the same band (much like a certain beloved emo band’s unexpected transition to pop-rock).

Adore slides between levels of melancholia with an almost depressive carelessness, which isn’t to say the entire album is 16 shades of grey – because there are moments of sunshine amid the clouds – but as I played the songs in order, I felt my mood constantly shifting to suit it.

The acoustic opening track ‘To Sheila’ is gentle and cosy, giving the feel of a song sung over a campfire with the soft sound of cicadas in the background and Corgan’s signature husky vocals. So when the chunky electro-pop beat of ‘Ava Adore’ hits me, it’s almost a shock! But a welcome one all the same. The guitars, as you know by now, are my favourite part of this track, creating a beautifully rich backdrop for the chorus, Corgan’s vocals rising to an equally unique nasal cry as he declares ‘we must never be apart.’ From here, things take a slow dive into the depths of sadness from the dreamy and up-tempo ‘Perfect’, the airy yet melancholic vibrations of ‘Daphne Descends’ and the gently captivating ‘Once Upon a Time’, to the subtly dramatic tragedy of ‘Tear’ with its soaring string choir, and the muted electro despair of ‘Crestfallen’. But then, just when you feel you’ve given up, from out of the darkness comes light. ‘Appels + Oranjes’ is an up-beat, mid-tempo electro pop tune, much smoother than ‘Ava Adore’ with tight metallic guitar notes. These notes are echoed in ‘Pug’ while being backed up by some hefty bass which periodically drops in and out for a cosy tonal shift, making this my favourite song on the whole album. Finally comes ‘The Tale of Dusty and Pistol Pete’, a gently smiling tambourine-infused tune, before everything takes a second dive for the last 6 songs.

‘Annie-Dog’ is another of my favourites because, aside from being a simple little piano-

backed refrain, Corgan maintains a steady, almost rusty croon, that’s equal parts soothing and alluring. And somehow this carries into ‘Shame’ (a newly admired song for me) where I found something almost comforting in his repetition of ‘sh-sh-sh-sh-shame’. But this track is also very cymbal heavy and draws out its guitar notes just as Corgan allows his voice to rise harshly once more. For ‘Behold! The Night Mare’, there is a return to the dreaminess of ‘Perfect’, albeit with a more psychedelic edge and a discordant guitar interlude that lends it a nightmarish twist. The elegiac ‘For Martha’, written following the passing of Corgan’s mother from cancer, is a suitably sad 8 minutes of gentle piano, instrumentation, and vocals, bisected by a strong guitar solo. But ‘Blank Page’ is a final return to melancholia, backed by a simple piano tune (which almost reminds of My Chemical Romance’s ‘I Don’t Love You’ if it were acoustic) and laced with some sad synth sounds and Corgan’s poignantly slow lyrics. I could almost accept this as the end of the album if not for the 17 seconds of wavering, dissonant piano notes which make up ‘17’. I think this is yet another album, like Korn’s ‘The Nothing’ that I have come to appreciate so much more for paying closer attention – putting aside the fact that it’s the perfect fuel for depression. I will just continue to ride this psychedelic cloud of comfort in the hope of better days.

FULL ALBUM: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzTW6ph_i-KTOESYwbvYlt4LblkoWrm4l

Corgan Photo courtesy of: Graham Racher, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Sonnet Sundays - Younger

I was hoping I might find a sweet poem about mothers hidden away in my poetry archive, given that today is Mother's Day, but alas, it was not to be. I did, however, recently update this banger of a rhyme, inspired by the Madness song 'Baggy Trousers'. It could be considered an homage to the mothers who have to endure such crazy antics as these. Feeling nostalgic?

Younger

Lots of girls and lots of boys,
running, screaming, making noise,
chasing here and tripping there,
eating mud and pulling hair,
splashing puddles, climbing trees,
proudly wearing two grazed knees,
stealing candy from the shop,
playing scotch without the hop,
ringing doorbells, snowball fights,
racing bikes and flying kites,
playing ‘vet’ with your dog Mixer,
your sister comes and Mixer licks her,
catching frogs and butterflies,
seeing castles in the sky,
pavement doodles in the park,
And one last game before it gets dark.
Those were the days I won’t forget,
The days of youth and no regrets. 

Storybook Saturdays - H is for Hawk (2014) by Helen MacDonald

The hawk was everything I wanted to be: solitary, self-possessed, free from grief, and numb to the hurts of human life. I was turning into a hawk.

Looks like you’re getting another double-bill of posts today – as I wanted to get an early night yesterday and, to be honest, I felt this review needed the time to be done right – but also, as I mentioned on Friday, it’s a double-bill of goshawks as I introduce you to Helen MacDonald’s H is for Hawk. This is the first book I have reviewed this year which I haven’t already read which made for a nice change. I honestly didn’t know what to expect except that there would be a hawk involved and it deals with the theme of grief, but oh there is so much more!

The story is autobiographical, MacDonald walking us through the scenery of her life following the death of her father and how, as an experienced falconer, she takes on the challenge of training a goshawk, a notoriously difficult bird, as a way of coping with her grief. It is, at times, a very dark fall down the proverbial rabbit hole, as MacDonald begins to feel herself withdrawing into the world of her hawk and away from society, metaphorically becoming a hawk herself. This is illustrated by a continued theme of ‘burning’ from feeling as if her own ‘humanity was burning away’ to her goshawk, Mabel, being like ‘the bastard offspring of a flaming torch and an assault rifle’, ‘a fire that burned my hurts away.’ It is as if, without knowing it, her cure (the hawk) is more of a curse. But as I read, I believe I was made just as blind to MacDonald’s self-sabotage as her, because the way she describes Mabel, and the countryside around her, is simply spellbinding.

Almost 2 whole pages are dedicated to the unveiling of Mabel from which this line stuck with me:

her wild eyes were the colour of sun on white paper, and they stared because the whole world had fallen into them at once.

She is a ‘cappuccino samurai’, ‘a thing hammered of metal and scales and glass’ with ‘hot hawk breath’ that ‘smells of pepper and musk and burned stone’, a deadly set of sensory descriptors which almost seem at odds with Mabel’s adorable playfulness. These latter scenes of Mabel, playing with balls of paper and shivering with happiness, seem to childishly personify her – which, given she is a young bird, kind of makes sense. It also sheds some light onto the otherwise bleak landscape of MacDonald’s life, as too does the beauty of the landscape itself, so uniquely rendered through the senses that I wondered if she wasn’t a hawk after all. I mean who else could see ‘a torn-paper whiteness behind the sun that speaks of frost to come’, distinguish each bird call with a different verb, or label the smells of the forest as a ‘Goshawk cocktail’?

And then there is the way past, present and future thread their way through the entire story courtesy of the main male figures in her life: her father, and T H White, author of The Goshawk.

In a way the latter man’s story (set in the late 30s), which she weaves with her own – in an admittedly less colourful fashion – is almost a repetition of her own, at times even written in the present tense to further confuse you. Both MacDonald and White find themselves raising goshawks in a simultaneous act of running away from, yet holding on to, life; a way to ‘stop the loss’, as MacDonald puts it, as if she were uncontrollably bleeding. Their efforts inevitably turn their hawks into mirrors of themselves through grief and ignorance – White often mistreating his so badly I felt sick – but their stories serve as a lesson on the boundary between human and animal, and ultimately what it means to be human. Her father’s involvement, meanwhile, is of a much gentler kind, evoked in memories which often tie past, present, and future together in a single paragraph. He is the reason she loves birds – himself a keen plane-spotter – the evidence of his life still litters hers, both physically and mentally, and by the end White’s goshawk even seems to symbolise her father, not dead but simply lost. I find it mildly amusing that this book, when paired with my previous two reviews, makes a trio of stories with prominent father figures, just as my first three were about orphans. Whatever next?

This significance of the past also gives the book a sense of magic, imbued by the folklore of the landscape and the hawks themselves, MacDonald’s childhood memories, and the continual references to one of White’s most famed works, ‘The Sword in the Stone’. There is a repetition of the words ‘fairy’, ‘fey’ ‘feral’ and ‘ferox’ throughout which help to reinforce this feeling of eldritch mysticism. But, on the flipside, the past also creates an inescapable gloom of grief and dissociation which saturates the story with unease, manifests in long panicked sentences or disjointed snippets of sensation and action. I felt at times alienated, frightened and even familiar with the way MacDonald viewed life through the lens of her depression – ‘I could not hear my mother’s pain. I could not feel my own’. So it made me glad to see how much brighter her world is painted when Mabel is around, how she describes the hawk as her ‘soul’, even comparing this notion and the pain of separation to the daemons in Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials, a comparison I rejoiced in having read this series myself.

For a story whose overarching theme is of death, not only her father’s but those associated with the hawk and the hunt, H is for Hawk manages to lessen the blow without sugar-coating it. There is still visceral detail – ‘blood upwells as she breaks into [a rabbit’s] chest […] horrible, mesmerising, seeping claret filling up the space’ – but this is softened by MacDonald’s mercy-killing of Mabel’s prey to prevent it being eaten alive, and the occasional juxtaposition of making tea in the kitchen ‘where a dead white rabbit is defrosting like a soft toy in an evidence bag’. Then there is her father’s death which, while sudden, is never made to feel real. It is as if MacDonald were still a child, believing her father is ‘somewhere out there in that tangled wood with all the rest of the lost and dead’ and all she needs to do is ‘find him and bring him home’. In a way, it feels like MacDonald has written a fairy tale for adults, with all the grit and reality of life nestled next to the warm safety and fantasy of nature.

Feathered Fridays - Goshawk

Norbert Kenntner, Berlin - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1062838

Accipiter gentilis

I have, as of about 4 hours ago, finished reading Helen MacDonald’s H is for Hawk (which I will be reviewing this time tomorrow) and am left with mixed feelings about the goshawk as a result. It is both a fierce and deadly yet beautiful and beguiling bird – the latter feature courtesy of falconry taming, the former the result of its innate and hungry bloodlust.

Its plumage is a riot of monochromatic pattern across the breast and upper legs, each white feather striated with blunt, grey arrow-head markings, while the back, head, and upper tail and wings are a mix of deep brown and steely grey, the underwing and under-tail a creamy white. The legs, however, protruding from their striped trouser of feathers, are almost vibrantly yellow, and their eyes, browed by a white stripe, are a brilliant, fiery reddish orange.

With a 3-4ft/1-1.25m wingspan and weighing in at between 18-48oz/500g-1.3kg (the upper sizes being for females, who are larger than the males), you can just imagine seeing this immense bird swooping, wings outstretched, towards your waiting glove, feeling its full weight collide with and settle onto your fist. Although, despite being the largest of the hawks, when compared with the rest of the Accipitridae family – which, in the UK, includes the Golden Eagle (7ft/2m wingspan and up to 15lb/6.7kg) – the Goshawk is tiny. But the average person will be just as, if not more, likely to see this elegant predator naturally on the wing.

It is commonly found throughout Wales and the England-Scotland border, with a few scattered residential roosts across England, in wooded farmland, sparse, mature conifer forests, and hillsides. They can be spotted between late winter and early spring, ranging over their woodland territories, performing a ‘sky-dance’ to attract a mate. When they pair up, they will construct a large plateau of sticks and greenery close to the trunk of a tall tree, into which an annual brood of 2-4 eggs will be laid between March and June. The young become independent after about 3 months, during which time (and for up to 2 years afterwards) their plumage is distinct from the adults, bearing more vertical tear-shaped markings on the breast and an overall browner colouration. Before fledging, they will also participate in ‘branching’, perching around the nest before they are ready to fly.

Their diet is meat-based, as with all birds of prey, and includes other birds such as woodpigeons, game birds and even crows, as well as squirrels, rabbits, and other mammals. Their hunting method is typically to sit in a tree and wait until prey is spotted before swooping, but they are even known to chase prey on the ground in denser habitats. They will then consume their catch where it is caught, wings dropped and umbrellaed over it, or else they will carry smaller prey to a perch. If tomorrow’s review helps to convince you to read H is for Hawk, you will know how exhilarating and yet frightening this hunt can be. But also how intelligent and awesome the Goshawk is too!

Facts taken from: the RSPB, Woodland Trust, the Hawk and Owl Trust, and the RSPB’s ‘Birds of Britain and Europe’ Guidebook by Rob Hume.

https://www.rspb.org.uk/birds-and-wildlife/wildlife-guides/bird-a-z/goshawk/#:~:text=The%20goshawk%20is%20a%20large,catch%20its%20prey%20in%20flight.

https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/trees-woods-and-wildlife/animals/birds/goshawk/

https://hawkandowltrust.org/about-birds-of-prey/goshawk

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0241302242/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Photography Thursdays - Libation

 

Libation (Amsterdam, The Netherlands) - 23rd August 2015

You can tell the desire for travel and new scenery is getting to me when I'm posting yet another nostalgic holiday shot, this time taken from my first non-academic stay abroad with my partner. We'd just discovered the Red Light District and decided to stop for a drink by the canal overlooking the famed Erotic Museum. I think the thing I love most about this shot is the composition, framing the doors of the museum between the two drinks which are slightly out of focus. My only wish is that there was perhaps only one person in the frame (the guy standing by the door) instead of the unfortunate spliced head outside the window and the woman passing the door. 

I need to go back!

Wellness Wednesdays - I Am Awesome!

Welcome to Wednesday’s Wellness Clinic (although, as today is now Thursday, I think we shall have to temporarily rebrand it Therapy Thursday!) I can promise you I am not a doctor, a psychotherapist or a preacher, just someone with a lot going on inside her head looking for a way to calm the storm and impart that wisdom to you.

I would like to start this session with a simple reminder: You. Are. Awesome! You are a unique, perfectly formed individual who has so many fantastic achievements and qualities that you might not remember to celebrate. This is just one of the messages that Milly Smith wants to remind you of in her book, The Adulting Manual, an interactive guide to getting through life’s ups and downs which acts as the sidekick to my ‘i am here now’ book. I carried it around with me for the last two weeks, filling in bits here and there to try and boost my level of self-love, and I think it may have had an effect, however temporary.

An example of some of the exercises includes:

• body positivity colouring in (with the words ‘My body does not define me’): While this may not be the biggest issue for me, it still felt good to colour those words in and remind myself that, for all my ‘imperfections’, I am loved, often because I am the only one who sees small boobs, large thighs, white hairs and a flat ass as ‘imperfections’. You need to learn to love your body whatever shape, size, or colour it is.
• 
  celebrating achievements (on the side of a big bowl of fruit): This one was certainly useful to help me remember all the awesome things I have accomplished from being able to cook, to graduating university, to learning how to cope under pressure at work – the kind of things I have either taken for granted or forgotten about. By celebrating those achievements, and coming back to them in periods of self-doubt, you can affirm your ability to be successful, no matter how big or small a thing it may be.
  
• recognising your awesomeness (what makes you special): I found this one to be quite similar to the achievements activity but it allowed me to highlight those things I pride myself on, like my taste in music, my fashion sense and, just recently, my ability (for once, anyway) to get out of bed before 10am on a weekend. Maybe no one else sees this special thing, but it’s worth noting to yourself, because if you think it’s what makes you shine then be proud!

There is also a section on being comfortable with your sexuality and sexual preferences/fantasies, etc which, at present, aren’t easy things as I’m still a bit uncertain how I feel. I might be bisexual, but I can’t meet anyone to find out. I might be polyamorous, but I can’t fully engage with that either right now. So I guess it’s all down to self-love for the time being. I was still able to partially complete this section, though, which helped to cement some of my vague fascinations and proclivities – though I’m keeping those to myself!

I think in this fortnight, much like my last session, I have come to realise that some of these tips and practices can’t be fully explored and appreciated in just fourteen days. They need to be built on and sustained for months to get any decent results. For example, I have been incorporating a morning meditation session into my pre-commute free time – with mixed results – but it’s helping me to make sure I dedicate time to myself. To get the most out of this fortnight’s practice, I will need to continue filling in The Adulting Manual and consult it where necessary as a reminder of how awesome I have been, how awesome I still am, and that there is still so much time left to me to carry on being awesome!

If you’d like to purchase this book for yourself (or someone you know), you can get it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1787416135?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_dt_b_product_details

Tasty Tuesdays - Chicken and Potato Mess Up (Home-cooking)

Come on in! The kitchen is open once more and this time, albeit a day late, I am bringing you some honest soul-warming home cooking. No recipe books, bloggers or BBC Good Food; I’m taking it straight from my childhood with a dish my mum rather simply called Chicken and Potato Mess Up. So long as you have the two basic ingredients – chicken and potato – you can pretty much make this out of anything. Of course there is a recipe but, as I’ve come to learn over the years of making this for my birthday or just for the nostalgia, just like the ones you pull from cookbooks, family recipes are often subject to alterations, amendments and ageing. And so I will present to you the recipe as my mum wrote it, with my additions tacked on.

You’ll want to start with the core ingredients – the chicken and the potato. The original calls for 1 ½ chopped cooked chicken breasts, but for a 4-person family I’m more inclined to recommend you use the full 2. Season them with salt/pepper and tarragon (or thyme – whichever you prefer) and cook at 180°C in a foil-covered dish for between 25 and 35 minutes depending on their size (this helps the meat retain moisture) before chopping. I also recall this dish being made with leftover chicken after a Sunday roast, making this the perfect Monday after-school meal. If you choose to do this, you’ll want roughly 250g / 8.5oz of meat.  You can even substitute with the same amount of Quorn pieces if you’re vegetarian. As for the potatoes, these will be going on top of the chicken and the rest of our ingredients. My mum’s instructions were to par-boil 5 medium potatoes (peeled and cut in half) for 15 minutes before slicing them thinly. Alternatively, you can slice them beforehand which brings the cooking time down to about 8-10 minutes, but either way you will still need to leave them to cool while you prepare the rest of the ingredients. Also, feel free to leave the skin on – it helps maintain the potato’s structural integrity as well as adding a bit more fibre.

The basic extra ingredients include:

- Tomatoes – you can use between ½ and a whole can of chopped tomatoes, 3 standard salad tomatoes, or one large beef tomato. These will create some liquid which the chicken will partially soak up, imbuing the meat with their sweet flavour.

- Carrots – one small can of sliced or baby carrots, or one large fresh carrot, sliced and boiled for 8 minutes (you can cook these in the same pan as the potatoes). We all know how difficult it is to get kids to eat vegetables, so if you want, you can dice the carrot up.

- Pasta – my family’s pantry was never without certain big brand products like Marmite, Daddies Brown Sauce, Colmans Mustard, and, for the purposes of this recipe, Batchelors Pasta ‘n’ Sauce. These dehydrated packets of pasta and sauce are deliciously nostalgic served as a side to chicken and chips, but here they play an important role in combining the ingredients. The flavour we use is Chicken & Mushroom, but there is a Cheese & Broccoli one too which could work just as well. The instructions are simple: bring a pan of milk and water to the boil, add the packet contents, and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Of course, if you don’t have access to this product, there are most likely substitutes to be found, but if you have the time, I have provided instructions on how to make your own. Also, my mum was quite sparing with this, but I’ve found it much tastier (and easier) to use the whole packet!

- Potato Bake – Batchelors returns with a now defunct product: the genius Cheese and Bacon Potato Bake sauce. This smoky white sauce would be layered with the potato slices so that, when cooked, the covered slices would be gooey and the top slices would bear a gorgeous golden-brown crust that always made me save them until last when eating. Unfortunately, you will notice I said ‘defunct’ – I have been unable to find this product in my local supermarket so have had to improvise, as with the pasta sauce (see instructions with recipe at the end).

- Stock – another of our branded kitchen staples was the humble Oxo cube; a tiny foil-wrapped compact cube of stock granules which when crushed and sprinkled into this dish helped add saltiness and boost flavour. You can opt for low-sodium ones or just use half if you prefer.

- Peas – often said to be a child’s worst enemy at the dinner table, but I like to think, if I didn’t like peas as a kid before this dish came into my life, I certainly did afterwards. And they add a beautiful pop of colour alongside the tomatoes.

- Tomato Puree – because you can never have too much tomato.

- Seasoning – salt/pepper. You know the drill.

But from there, pretty much any additional vegetable, pulse, meat, stock or seasoning that you like is fair game. Some of my tried and tested favourites are: kale (one large handful); celery (1 diced stick); onion (1 small one, diced and fried); white wine (no more than 50ml – if you’re not cooking for children); stock from the roast chicken (again, no more than 50ml); and paprika (1 tsp). I would also recommend trying: lentils or chickpeas (25g), mushrooms (50g – diced and fried), or replacing the peas with sweetcorn. Have a mess around with whatever you have in your fridge/cupboard, whatever your kids like, and get some goodness in you!

For Potato Bake:

• 50g/2oz butter
• 50g/2oz flour
• 8fl.oz./235ml milk
• 50g/2oz cheese, grated (this needs to be a firm cheese like Cheddar or Red Leicester)
• 2 shallots, finely chopped
• 4 strips of smoky bacon, finely chopped
• ½ tbsp olive oil
• Salt/pepper

1. Heat the oil in a frying pan and fry the bacon and shallots until crisp and golden.
2. Melt the butter in a saucepan. Add the flour and cook over a low heat for 1 minute.
3. Remove from the heat, add in a little milk and, using a hand whisk, mix to a paste. Continue adding the rest of the milk (saving about 30ml).
4. Return the pan to the heat and stir until the sauce thickens up (if it is too thick, add some of the reserved milk. You can even add a splash of white wine here if you’re cooking for big kids – and by that I mean us grown-ups)
5. Once thickened, add the cheese, and stir until melted before adding the fried bacon and shallots, and seasoning to taste.

For Pasta ‘n’ Sauce:

• 100g/4oz pasta (use whichever kind you prefer, though something small like shells or macaroni is perfect)
• 3.5fl.oz/100ml milk
• 9fl.oz/250ml water
• 1 chicken Oxo cube, crushed
• 2-3 mushrooms, finely diced
• ½ tbsp nut oil
• 1 tsp cornflour

1. Heat the oil in a frying pan and fry the mushroom for 5 minutes.
2. Pour the milk and water into a saucepan and bring to the boil.
3. Add your pasta and Oxo cube and cook for 10-12 minutes (depending on the packet instructions of the pasta)
4. Remove a few spoonfuls of the sauce and combine with the cornflour to make a slurry. Pour this back into the pan, whisking as you do to prevent lumps, to thicken the sauce up.
5. Add in the mushrooms.

For the rest of the dish (my edits and additions are in bold):

• ½ - 1 can chopped tomatoes / 2 salad tomatoes, chopped / 1 beef tomato, chopped
• 1 small can of sliced/baby carrots / 1 large carrot, peeled and sliced
• 1 handful of frozen peas
• 1 ½ (or 2) chopped cooked chicken breasts / 250g/8.5oz chopped leftover roast
  chicken
• 5 medium potatoes (par-boiled and sliced thin)
• Salt and pepper
• 1 Oxo cube (chicken or vegetable)
• 1 tbsp tomato puree

1. Preheat oven to 180°C/350°F
2. Bring a large pan of water to the boil and add your potatoes (halved or sliced). Boil for 8-15 minutes depending on size (see note on potatoes at the start).
   
3. If using fresh carrot, add this to the potato pan for the last 8 minutes.
4. Once boiled, if using fresh carrot, scoop these out and put into a deep casserole dish before draining the potatoes and setting them aside to cool.
5. Put the rest of your ingredients in the dish – including the pasta. If not made from scratch, follow packet instructions before adding to the dish – and mix it all together.
6. If you are using any additional ingredients (listed earlier) add these in now.
7. If you didn’t pre-slice your potatoes, do this now
8. Arrange half of the potato slices on top, then pour over half of your potato bake, repeating with the rest.
9. Put into the oven for 1 hour until the top is crisp and golden and the filling is bubbling.

You can serve this with some broccoli for an added hit of colour and vitamins or eat it on its own. My favourite accompaniment is the vinegary sweet Daddies Brown Sauce.

 

Musical Mondays - Black, White - and - Red (2018-2020) by 8 Graves

Today’s Musical Monday is now a Tuneful Tuesday (or Warbling Wednesday?) as I finally got around to seeing a friend on Monday and, as such, everything is going to be subject to a slight shift this fortnight. I’m also not doing too great mentally lately – it’s all feeling a bit soupy and difficult – but I will do my best to do my featured artist justice. That artist is the darkly electronic American duo 8 Graves who have amassed a sizable following on platforms like Soundcloud, YouTube and Spotify. But despite that following, there isn’t a lot of information on these guys other than their names – Nick & Brett – a realisation which only seems to make my enjoyment of them that much more special. The albums I am reviewing are, so far as I can see, their first lengthy releases with between 4 and 5 songs per album, but each song packs a sizable enough punch to make the albums seem bigger.

‘Black’ was the first of these, released in 2018, it’s opening track ‘Bury Me Low’ racking up 14million hits on Spotify – and for good reason. This stand-out track boasts hauntingly hollow reverb, tightly metallic guitar chords, and a satisfying wind-up to a dramatic drop for the chorus. This is contrasted by my personal favourite, the softer ‘Hang’, which transitions between verse and chorus with the gentle release of a bubble bursting, trading melodic yet sinister guitars for a pulsing reverb drop that wouldn’t feel out of place in a nightclub. Mid track ‘OK’ features guest vocals from self-proclaimed ‘emo-pop artist’ AViVA which, with her serpentine voice, help to boost this slightly less remarkable tune. I say ‘less remarkable’ because this track only really gets going in the chorus, and even then it’s devoid of their signature drop. Unlike ‘Numb’ which, with its slow burn intro, launches into a drawn-out wall of reverb that almost takes you by surprise. And the gentle bridge with Brett’s repeated line ‘All I want is to feel a bit’, skilfully woven into the final chorus, finished off with a guitar solo flourish, takes this penultimate track to a whole other level. The hidden drop is featured even more prominently in ‘Burning Alive’ which switches from menacingly melodic verse to pounding discordant chorus in a matter of seconds – and it features another awesome guitar solo!

The following year, they released ‘White’, 1 track shorter but, in my opinion, a distinct improvement. The harshly ominous opener is ‘Cold World’, a track which, in addition to another unexpectedly heavy drop, now makes use of richly layered vocals to add character. This is followed by ‘Bones’, the eerily metallic track which cemented my status as a Gravedigger – the name for 8 Graves fanbase. With this one you can really feel the drop coming in the gradually increasing tempo of the backing, building like a wave before slamming down with shiver-inducing force. By contrast, ‘RIP’ has a very stripped back acoustic feel to it, featuring a beautiful guitar loop which lingers in the back of your head for almost the entire song and a drop you barely notice for its uncharacteristic gentleness. And given the bleak subject matter, this all combines to create one sombre little lullaby. However, the classic 8 Graves feel returns with ‘Beast’ – albeit with the creep factor turned up a notch: the unnerving guitar intro sounds like it was ripped out of a horror movie. And again, you can feel the drop coming as the drum tempo steadily increases, though this one explodes with less force, but is replete with cool guitar riffs and a funky rave note that always gives me shivers.

Finally, 2020, the year we all needed saving from, gave us ‘Red’. This one opens with ‘Begging to Bleed’, a slow burner like ‘Beast’ which explodes into a sustained and powerful drop and is, again, packed with my favourite complexity of guitar chords. The eerie follow-up ‘Better Off Dead’ serves up another unexpectedly hefty drop alongside the verses’ airy synths, slow drumbeats and Brett’s statement that ‘it’s not safe inside my head’. I think this chorus probably has one of my favourite guitar riffs of all. But the prize for probably my most played song goes to ‘Eye for an Eye’. The build-up to its electrifying, pulsing drop is very palpable in the already heightened drum tempo and the gradual stepping up in the pre-chorus, and yet it still catches you out! The bridge is also a little longer than most, drawing out your enjoyment of its complex eeriness. If you’re looking for something that marks this album as different, however, ‘Evil’ does just that, being softer and yet just as creepy as ‘Beast’ with distorted vocals, menacingly deep guitar chords, and a sound in the background you could mistake for muffled voices. But it’s the drop that separates it out, feeling more like an aftermath, swelling instead of crashing around you. This seems to carry over into the king of slow burners, ‘Teeth’, building right from the start into a beautifully menacing drop which, when laced with Brett’s lower pitched vocals, comes very close to being seductive.

The experience of listening to these electronically synthesised tapestries is perhaps deepened by watching the videos, created by Wei Jerry Chen, which strobe and morph with the music. You can see them in the below links. And I have just realised how much of an essay this is becoming! I think I better round it off here. But please do go check these guys out, if you love club beats, if you’re still clinging to your emo roots, if you’re a fan of the channel SuicideSheep, or even if you’re just looking for some sick guitar tracks. Or all of the above.

FULL ALBUMS: 

Black: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mBiaPaTkZmDJ9O66XbehNGWPL9SPcsw84

White: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_koNWw-uEmsi53IOp_mlNX3Be-YmP5_1lQ

Red: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kjjD3TENc9k2AtKcWFdLt3eWYYdWIPPy0